Age Appropriate
There are some interesting dynamics at play when we consider the introduction of social media at early ages. I have to tell you that I am truly afriad for my daughter to grow up. Not only because the time that we spend together is going by too fast (it is!). I concerned about the pressures that she will face as a social media user. Back in the dark ages when I was growing up information was shared through rumors. If some had a problem with me I would find out through the grapevine (Someone telling someone else). Eventually, after that point there was a confrontation. Confrontations actually allowed people to address their issues. I must admit that it ended in a altercation, however common ground was built. Social media has flipped the concept of interactions. I heard a study that affirmed 80% of students have been bullied at some point by their peers. As a parent, I will need to be extremely involved an up to date on technology to make sure that my child does not experience this. I have also considered not letting my child have social media accounts until she reaches 17 years old. I know it will be difficult to prevent this from happening, but I think it will serve to keep my childs focus on education and not be bombarded with social media constraints. To my many followers I would like to know. How young is too young to have a social media account?
I’m grappling with this issue lately. I have a 9 year old. I activated my old iPhone for her so we could communicate when she is at dance, etc. However, I have her phone fairly locked down. I just added WhatsApp so we can communicate over wifi and she can text with her data while she and I travel this summer. I’ve said no to Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. She cannot add contacts without me. She is allowed to text with family and a few friends, all approved by me. She has a blog for her travels right now, and she is keeping it updated with my help. However, she’s not really out there on the social media stage. I think that education is better than restriction (my research in high school settings has suggested that when parents say no, kids just find another way and get an account to access from a friend’s phone or computer). At some point I’ll have to say yes to social media. But not just yet. Most of her friends do not have phones yet, but some of them do — and some have instagram and Snapchat. One has a YouTube channel. I’m going to pass on those for now. I told her we could re-evaluate in 8th grade (following the wait until 8th pledge).
ReplyDeleteSo: No real answers here. Just confirmation that it is an issue to be grappled with.
Wow I'm glad I'm not the only one that struggles with this concept. Tell me about the whats App. I have heard about it but I'm not sure how it works.
DeleteCornelius, I certainly share your concern and have gone through a similar struggle with my oldest daughter over social media access. She is almost 18 now and thus far we have only allowed her to have a Facebook account. This has been the extent of my social media footprint as well as that of my wife, until recently. #eme6414 actually put me in a tough spot because now I have a Twitter and Instagram account and as soon as both her and my younger daughter found out, their first response was "If you have an account does that mean I can get an account too?" It has not been easy, and there have been multiple times where she has disobeyed and created social media accounts without permission, but we have found out about them and deleted them. Like you, I am concerned about the negative content that is prevalent on social media and I want to protect her from it as long as possible. I am also concerned about what she might post to the world. It has been tough to convey the message that just because you can post/re-post something, doesn't mean that you should because of how it may reflect on you. Plus it’s hard for teenagers to the the foresight to see that someday in the future, when they’re applying for that new job, they might regret what their younger self thought was cool and posted on the Internet. Also privacy/security concerns have come up and we've had to stress the importance of good internet hygiene. Soon enough she is going to be out on her own without these parent-imposed restrictions and I'm sure the temptation to jump on the social media bandwagon will be strong. I only hope that she stops and thinks before she posts; which is really good advice for everyone to follow. The Internet would be a different place if more people did that. Good luck on the road ahead!
ReplyDeleteThis would be a very tough decision. When I was in middle/high school school AIM and email was starting to become popular. I was allowed to have the accounts but my mom made me give her my passwords to everything. She also did random spot checks, so she made sure I didn't change the passwords. She would go on and look through my MySpace and my friends pages. Some kids may have felt like it was an invasion of privacy, but it was sort of the agreement. She pretty much said, if you want to have these accounts this is what happens. This was also when our computer was in the living room, there really wasn't hiding much back then. I don't even have kids and it scares me to think about what they can find and who they can connect with the minute they get a smart phone. I do not know how you do it.
ReplyDeleteI, too, struggle with this issue. My daughters are 15 and 17, and both got phones in 5th grade so we could keep in touch about pick up times. We have our computer in the living room, so we could monitor their computer use, but once they had phones, they were able to move their access. That's not what we wanted! We allowed both to join snapchat and instagram when they were in 8th grade. What is worrisome to me is that they are focused on the number of likes and comments their pictures get, the number of followers they have who follow back and the number of followers they don't follow back, etc. It quantifies friendship and popularity.
ReplyDeleteI do not see a way around their having phones and access to social media. As I imagine it is in most school districts, kids need to have access to the internet for assignments: everything is written in Google docs, messages are sent through Google classroom, students communicate about extracurriculars via Twitter, Snapchat, and texting. Teachers post assignments at night and during the weekend that are due the next day or on Monday, respectively. For me, if an instructor can't manage to give an assignment during class or post it during school hours, time's up. There was even one instructor this year who would tell the kids that she was going to post homework "at some time" during the weekend and would leave the post up for only 2 hours; if the kids didn't get the assignment, too bad.
The thing we can do as parents is talk...a lot. Keeping communication open about these topics allows us the chance to offer guidance, balance, and perspective.
Cornelius,
ReplyDeleteAs someone who doesn't current have children of my own, but have plenty of nieces and nephews I can certainly understand your fears, concerns, and hesitations. I honestly would agree that 17-18 is appropriate for kids to have social media accounts. I am honestly no a fan at all of kids any younger than that having any type of social media account for a few reasons:
1. who do you need to connect with that often or that seriously. All of your friends should be within the neighborhood or at school and can be reached easily by phone.
2. kids are growing up extremely too fast with social media. They are exposed to soooo much and don't even realize that most of it is age inappropriate nor simply not something they should be seeing because they don't understand it enough to really articulate how it can impact them in conversation.
3. they are losing social skills and natural kid desires. For example, a friend of mine has two boys around 8-10 and they will spend HOURS playing games on their phones as opposed to going outside and playing with other kids, scrapping their knees, exploring the nature around them, and etc.
So my future kids will think I am mean, but they will appreciate it later. Social pressures will not rule my house.